I failed my PhD this week.
I know. Bummer. To be honest, I didn't know how I would react to being told I hadn't passed. Before I went in for the viva on Monday, I really was trying not to think about it. One thing I was not expecting, though, was to react as I did.
I am honestly okay with it. No...more than that, I'm honestly happy about it.
While sat in the garden on Monday afternoon, enjoying the beautiful sun, I was reflecting on the fact that my 5 year PhD adventure was over, and I didn't have the qualification I set out to achieve. However, I found myself reflecting more on the things I did have. A house, enough money, a job, people who love me, and now to top it all, an MPhil! I suddenly realised I have absolutely no cause to be melancholy. The disappointment is obviously there, but I truly believe that God has his hand on my life and so this, in some exciting and awesome way, will prove to be the best turn of events.
"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God"